I’m a sucker for descriptions that help me smell, taste, feel, or otherwise visualize a location. William Kent Kreuger does it better than anyone in his novel This Tender Land, and I tried to capture some of that in my own novel Suddenly Rural Girl. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson do it well throughout their Peter and the Star Catchers prequel to Peter Pan series. Here are a few examples:
The line below from Peter and the Shadow Thieves captures an oppressive atmosphere that sets the mood for an oppressive scene.
“The pale, sinking, northern sun was no match for the city’s blanket of clouds and dark gray fog, thickened by coal smoke and soot drifting out of ten thousand chimneys.”
and
“In the city’s wealthier areas, the streets were illuminated–somewhat–by gas lamps, each creating a small, round island of light (or at least diminished gloom).
Once out of the city, we’re introduced to the ocean, a clear and beautiful contrast:
“He didn’t mind being sent up to check the sails, because he enjoyed the view so much. The ocean spread out before him like a vast blue tablecloth, interrupted by the occasional white stitch of foam on wave.”
and the ocean can turn on the sailor’s too…
“For another minute, the sea continued to bubble and boil, as one by one, other desperate swimmers were suddenly sucked below. Then, at once, the sea quieted, becoming as flat as a country pond.”
The authors also used those atmospheric descriptions to make a character even more ominous.
“An inhuman roar of rage, like wind from a deep, cold cave, filled the night.”
and
“Caw! Caw! The sound came from a half dozen ravens circling high above Ombra’s carriage, following it obediently like dark kites on invisible strings.”
Finding ways to describe a scene with figurative language in a way that connects the reader to time, place, mood, and character is important. Barry and Pearson do it as well as anyone.
If you recall Peter Pan fondly, you’ll love Peter and the Star Catchers . . . and the over books in the series. You can find more about the novels and authors on Goodreads.
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